Music and Memories

I was standing at the counter
I was waiting for the change
When I heard that old familiar music start
It was like a lighted match
Had been tossed into my soul
It was like a dam had broken in my heart

After taking every detour
Getting lost and losing track
So that even if I wanted
I could not find my way back
After driving out the memory
Of the way things might have been
After I’d forgotten all about us
The song remembers when.

Those lyrics are from a Trisha Yearwood song entitled, not surprisingly, “The Song Remembers When”.  And it has everything to do with why music is such a personal, powerful experience for me.

From the time I was young, I remember watching the adults in my life have visceral reactions to songs.  I remember seeing tears in my mother’s eyes when the song “Because He Lives” was playing on the record spinning at the time.  (At the time, I didn’t understand.  Now that song evokes the same response in me.)  I sat in the sanctuary of Emmanuel Baptist Church in Farmington, New Mexico, on Easter morning and watched as tears started falling down the faces of nearly every member of the choir.  I was probably 6 years old or so at the time.  Years later, my parents would explain that it had been a rough path getting to the performance and it seemed like everything that could go wrong, was going wrong.  All the frustration led to shortened tempers and some tense conversations.  At the perfect moment in the cantata they were performing, the sun hit the rose window in the balcony and bathed the choir in colored light.  The purpose of the day, the reason we were celebrating became the only thing that mattered and the responses of the choir members could be seen on their wet cheeks.

In my own life, there have been songs that have caused my eyes to fill with tears almost from the first note.  There are songs that leave me invigorated and feeling like I could conquer the world.  There are songs that hit me between the eyes with a truth I hadn’t considered before.  And more times than I can count, I’ve heard lyrics that made me think, “Yes!  That’s it!  I haven’t known how to say it but those are exactly the words I’ve been looking for!”

Sometimes the songs I’m talking about are connected to matters of faith.  Sometimes they are not.  But one thing holds true – songs stick in my brain because I have an emotional connection to them.  Or maybe I have a connection to the first time I really heard the song.  Whatever the original circumstance, those songs are always there.  I can go without hearing a certain meaningful song for years and when I hear it again, I’ll be able to sing every word without a mistake.  More importantly, I’m instantly transported back to that moment in time when the song first imprinted itself on my heart.

Trisha was right.  The song DOES remember when.

First Love – The Story Behind the Song

13301506_10153599695458240_9196502295114631574_oI was a teenager when my father decided to embark on a Sunday night sermon series in Revelation.  The book of Revelation starts out with letters written to specific churches and the first is to the church at Ephesus.  Revelation 2:1-5 reads as follows –

To the angel of the church in Ephesus write:

These are the words of him who holds the seven stars in his right hand and walks among the seven golden lampstands. I know your deeds, your hard work, and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked people, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false. You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary.

Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first. Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place.

Like many kids and adolescents, I was easily irritated when things didn’t seem “fair” and the charges against the church of Ephesus were not even a little bit fair!  After a list of all the good things they had done they are chastised for one error – they left their first love.

I had nearly reached a nice simmering level of indignation when my father made a statement that shifted my perspective immediately – “Your motive matters.”  We are called to be the light of the world.  Even in the letters to the churches in Revelation, the imagery of this role is seen in the recurring reference to a lampstand.  It is safe to say that God intends for us to do good in the world.  But every action needs to be motivated by our love for our Heavenly Father.

Whatever good these believers were doing, there were important things they had forgotten.  I’m not sure exactly what was missing but the phrase “do the things you did at first” definitely implies something has been lost.

It’s not about appearances.  It’s not about church attendance.  It’s not about followers on social media, how many likes you get on a post, or even how much money you give to worthy causes.  It’s about your motive.  Where is your heart?

These were the types of thoughts that inspired one of my newer songs titled “First Love”.  The song is part repentance, part reconciliation, and quite a bit of recognizing the need to check our motives.  Often.  When asked what the greatest commandment was, Jesus answered, “Love God with absolutely every part of your being.”  The Bible is rich with reminders of the importance of love informing our choices.  And with this verse from Revelation, it’s clear that all the good deeds I can perform are pointless if my motivation is anything other than love.

 

First Love

 

I’m running home to you my First Love

I’m so sorry for the choices that I made,

For the path that led away 

From your presence,

From the wonder of your love.

I’m Stuck!!

True confessions time – I’m stuck.  Yes, “writer’s block” apparently happens to songwriters.  I’ve got two or three “works in progress” but cannot seem to make any forward progress.

What’s worse is the fact that I have a very vague idea where at least one of them needs to go.  There’s the rough idea wandering around the edge of my thoughts but nothing concrete.

And I’ve discovered by experience that trying to force something is useless.  I just get more stuck.  Kind of like when you get your car stuck and you hit the gas harder and only succeeding in digging the tires in deeper.

So here I sit.  Trying to create some creative “forward momentum” and I’m just spinning my metaphorical tires.

*sigh*